Setting up the camera for the purpose of taking my own photo sounds like the most terrifying thing my self conscious butt could think of to do. And talk about awkward. So when I encountered a group of ladies doing just that (Dear Photographer p52radness), I decided to give it a try & join them! It was a crazy thought, but it was also a new year, so ya know, “new year, new me”. I was mesmerized by the seasoned self portrait taking killing machines in that group & wondered how the hell they got there. They were confident, beautiful, raw, & creative. I was weird, shy, still learning my craft, & did I mention awwwwwkward!!
But yet, I moved forward & here is why. It’s rather simple. When it comes to my personal work, which is mostly comprised of my children, I shoot for them. I know the weight a photo holds. Moments, to me, are my heirlooms. I will pass them on to my children because, lets face it, memories fade. So I found that same “why” to hold true here with self portraiture. I want to show them that I was there, too. And, really, it’s also something I do for me. To embark on this journey, it felt like I was carving out time for self discovery. It was amazing, terrible, weird, uncomfortable, scary, but also necessary.
Sometimes I was able to take a few photos of myself & nail it, but most of the time, it would take a hundred clicks of that shutter to finally land on something I was okay with. It was a process, for sure. I started the year strong, trying a new self portrait every week, but lost my way as the year went on. I’m still proud of what I came up with & hope that this somehow inspires someone in some small way to get in the frame. This shit matters.
Notes for 2019: take more photos outdoors, a family portrait of us four, & more everyday real life moments.